I can't do it all.....

I think it is FINALLY starting to sink into my think head that I just can't do it all with three kids. There were so many things around the house that I wanted to do today... Relax a little, clean, plant the garden, give the dogs a bath, etc. But, there was a Kids Art activity at my church where kids come out and do many different art crafts, and I thought the kids would have fun. SO, we got everyone ready, we went to the church... and had a terrible time! The activity was great, but me alone with three kids that ALL need help with their projects created absolute chaos. The twins are also going through a very clingy, not wanting to share mommy phase. And of course, Maddie likes to follow along with that idea. I am going to start going with my gut feeling that we should just not go to events like this. It is just to hard to do it by myself.... Now if my husband were home like most husbands are, then I might have the energy to put up with this kind of whining... But the reality is, all the neediness last for a minimum of 48 hours at any one time, with no break for momma. Anyway, we all would have had so much more fun hanging out at home planting the garden, making cookies, playing outside, etc.

Gosh....As I sit and reflect on life, I can't help but think that my life now is so much different that what I had planned at a younger age! I had great plans to be a paramedic firefighter, have a max of two kids starting when I turned 29 or 30 ... Now, I did get hired at Folsom fire, but then decided to stay home with Maddie who was only a little over a year old. And instead of two kids, I have three... all before the age of 26. Wow... this is quite a difference. I am really looking forward to getting back to work, to do something for myself, and to re-gain some self identity that the kids seem to have taken away. I am looking forward to getting to know who my husband is again, and not just speaking to him for 5 minutes at night after all the kids are in bed and we are both exhausted.. I am looking forward to family outings that don't involve lots of crying, whining, and arguing... I am looking forward to a bit more calmness and quiet days while all the kids are at school....